*The purpose of this article is to offer one Counselor’s perspective on what can be expected while in counseling. The hope is this article will reassure just one person of the safety and healing to be found in attending counseling with a Licensed Clinical Therapist.

 

When you walk into my counseling office you will find a dimly lit room at times- or natural light. You may notice warm vanilla fragrances, soft-reassuringly sturdy furniture, encouraging quotes intended to uplift, and warm hues of color. You’ll hear music playing softly at times, all with comforting tones and ocean sounds with dynamics--crescendos and decrescendos designed to help with deep breathing. This space is a reminder that whatever you’re facing, there are other places and moments to be found that are safe. You can take a break, come away and regroup here. This time is for you.

 

I will welcome you and offer some water, tea or coffee. As we get settled, I will keep comfortable and reassuring eye contact and wonder about what you may be carrying. I will do my best to get a sense of the burden or emotions in your body language and the ways you communicate--the inflection in your voice and choice of words all tell a story. There is no judgment here. I will stay mindful of my reactions and breathing. What are you bringing with you--a compounding of emotions or simply the weight of the day? What or who has hurt you? Are you feeling guilty or ashamed? What are you feeling today? Have you lost your sense of dignity? Have you built up a wall that reaches to clouds? Are there years and years of layers? Or, are you in crisis right this moment? Are you at the end of your rope? Are you spiraling and trapped in racing thoughts? What is your inner dialogue? I may not think all of these things at first, but at some point throughout our sessions, I will. It’s what I’ve been trained to do.

 

Let’s get started. First, I’ll ask you to identify your top three emotions based on an elaborate “Feelings Wheel”—-it can be overwhelming to look at, but it’s just a starting point. I want to hear your story and along the way, I’ll guide you with leading questions to help with sharing. Things will likely start off simple- this is always at your pace and as you lead. I will reflect the things you tell me, and express what was stated and implied to be sure I understand. The goal is accuracy--to understand who you are as clearly as possible; but knowing we are unraveling a ball of yarn. We will figure it out together. How can I help?

 

If the emotions of sharing become too extreme, we will step back and breathe. I can sense this and redirect the conversation to something lighter- like we are stepping out for fresh air. We will explore coping techniques, ways to alleviate the pain when it flares up. We will work towards identifying triggers and activators-examining those “things” that bring you to experiencing overwhelming emotions and feelings of extreme _______ (anger, sadness, emptiness, loneliness, despair, hatred, disgust, etc.). You fill in the blank. We will walk back from the big picture and take a look through a different lens, letting what was in focus become fuzzy again as we move onto the current reality and potential next steps.

 

We will highlight the strategies you’ve found on your own that bring comfort or simply the ability to tolerate the moment. Your resiliency is a strength and I will encourage and praise you for this. I will offer additional strategies that may bring relief, and some may be distractions--music, TV shows, bubble baths, sports, or games. Other glimmers found may be more purposeful--taking a walk, calling a family member, friend, or pastor. Still some may be deeper--praying, finding zen, resetting the vibe and discovering true purpose…not the cliche, emotional platitude kind, but the kind that reaches the deep, raw and real issues and emotions. I will encourage you to seek a mentor and safe community to begin building out or reinforcing a natural support community.

 

These are the initial steps in counseling. Gaining initial coping skills for triggers--ways to alleviate the suffering you feel from unanticipated and unexpected reminders of pain, trauma, fear, or grief. We will unpack a lot, and you’ll want to rest. Along the way, I will reassure you in the journey we are embarking on towards the healing you’re seeking- healthy mind, body, soul, relationships with yourself and others.

 

It’s important for me to say this: therapy belongs to you. This time and space is yours. Bring what you will and set the tone. I will work within the boundaries and goals you set. I will walk with you through this, offering every resource and clinical skill I can along the way. You will find that you’re your own hero. You’re the one who will heal yourself and the work you put in will enhance your life in a variety of areas.

 

I will offer you the hope that this is not it and you are not stuck here. You will be honored here- never mimicked or intimidated. At times your heart may be sore and the aching in some seasons of distress can become discouraging. I will reassure you to keep going- you are not alone in this and your story is safe with me. I’m not a pain eraser--all I can do is walk with you through it and face things head on with you, offering the light that shows the way out to keep moving forward. This will sound like me reminding you of your own strengths and illuminating blind spots of your own resiliency that you might not see.

 

I do this work because I believe in it. My passion is for you to experience healing in your life. It might not be a leisurely walk--there likely be roadblocks to get to your goals and find consistency in them. It will be hard but it will be worth it.

 

I would love to help you on this journey.

 

Find me on Psychology Today for more information as to location and availability.